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For
men.... ejaculating is like urinating. Have a great weekend!!
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Girls
who participate in No Shave November are also participating in
No D December.
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Deleting
your Facebook is like running away from home. You're just doing
it for attention, and you'll be back an hour later.
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Believe
in your potential even if you haven’t seen the results. The right
people will have your back. Only on The DeMarco Show #untouchable
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It
doesn't take much to make a woman happy. However, it takes even
less to make her mad.
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You
owe it to yourself to be the best you can possibly be.
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Condoms
should change to different colors according to whatever disease
they come in contact with.
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Let
us all take a moment, and be thankful that spiders can't fly.
Remember anywhere you are at in your house there's a spider within
11 feet away in range. Sleep well!!
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Terrible
moment when you die and go to hell because you didn't pick the
right religion out of 4,200 in the world.
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It's
not who you are that holds you back. It's who you think you're
not.
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Even
your closest friend that swore to always have your back no matter
what..... could be the enemy within!!
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.Never
be afraid to lose. That's what makes you UNTOUCHABLE!!
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How
do you know the Chinese have moved into your neighborhood? The
Mexicans get car insurance. #hello #new #neighbors
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Living
life like it's game 7.
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We
live in a generation where losing your phone is more dramatic
than losing your virginity.
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I
also have a second degree black belt in sarcasm.
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I
like sleeping.... It's like death, just without the commitment.
Good Night!!
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Your
joke was funny, but I do not like you.... therefore I shall not
laugh.
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How
do you photoshop yourself and still be ugly? That's like cheating
on test and still failing.
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Being
successful doesn't mean you win everything, it means you push
yourself as far as you can go no matter the consequences. Only
on The DeMarco Show
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They
say nice guys finish last. I say nice guys don't finish at all.
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Sometimes
the first step towards forgiveness is realizing the other person
is extremely crazy
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You
think seven years for breaking a mirror is bad? Try breaking a
condom.
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A
gift card is a great way to say, "Go buy your own damn present!"
#HappyHolidays
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That
annoying moment when you have to be nice to someone you don't
like.
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So,
if you get "sexted" by someone you didn't want to, did you just
get molexted?
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If
you can't be a good example then at least try to be a horrible
warning.
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New
condom slogan: Wrap it in latex or she's gonna get your paychecks.
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You're
15... Your ass should be feeling butterflies in your tummy, not
a baby kicking.
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| If
it wasn't for Mexican time I would be 15 minutes early and on time. |
I
just saved a bunch of money on car insurance by switching... my
car into reverse and driving away from the accident. |
| Ladies,
How to keep a man. #basics 1. Long hair 2. Stay looking hot 3. Sex
anytime 4. Shut up |
If
someone is ugly, you call them a stalker... If the person is good
looking, you call them a secret admirer. |
| Dating:
the process of hiding your crazy just long enough to get the other
person to commit. |
Never
give up on your dreams.... keep sleeping. |
| If
I've offended you, I'm very sorry that you're a pu$$y with no sense
of humor. |
Did
you know some people celebrate things without alcohol? .... I didn't
either. |
