For men.... ejaculating is like urinating. Have a great weekend!!
Girls who participate in No Shave November are also participating in No D December.
Deleting your Facebook is like running away from home. You're just doing it for attention, and you'll be back an hour later.
Believe in your potential even if you havenít seen the results. The right people will have your back. Only on The DeMarco Show #untouchable
It doesn't take much to make a woman happy. However, it takes even less to make her mad.
You owe it to yourself to be the best you can possibly be.
Condoms should change to different colors according to whatever disease they come in contact with.
Let us all take a moment, and be thankful that spiders can't fly. Remember anywhere you are at in your house there's a spider within 11 feet away in range. Sleep well!!
Terrible moment when you die and go to hell because you didn't pick the right religion out of 4,200 in the world.
It's not who you are that holds you back. It's who you think you're not.
Even your closest friend that swore to always have your back no matter what..... could be the enemy within!!
.Never be afraid to lose. That's what makes you UNTOUCHABLE!!
How do you know the Chinese have moved into your neighborhood? The Mexicans get car insurance. #hello #new #neighbors
Living life like it's game 7.
We live in a generation where losing your phone is more dramatic than losing your virginity.
I also have a second degree black belt in sarcasm.
I like sleeping.... It's like death, just without the commitment. Good Night!!
Your joke was funny, but I do not like you.... therefore I shall not laugh.
How do you photoshop yourself and still be ugly? That's like cheating on test and still failing.
Being successful doesn't mean you win everything, it means you push yourself as far as you can go no matter the consequences. Only on The DeMarco Show
They say nice guys finish last. I say nice guys don't finish at all.
Sometimes the first step towards forgiveness is realizing the other person is extremely crazy
You think seven years for breaking a mirror is bad? Try breaking a condom.
A gift card is a great way to say, "Go buy your own damn present!" #HappyHolidays
That annoying moment when you have to be nice to someone you don't like.
So, if you get "sexted" by someone you didn't want to, did you just get molexted?
If you can't be a good example then at least try to be a horrible warning.
New condom slogan: Wrap it in latex or she's gonna get your paychecks.
You're 15... Your ass should be feeling butterflies in your tummy, not a baby kicking.
If it wasn't for Mexican time I would be 15 minutes early and on time. I just saved a bunch of money on car insurance by switching... my car into reverse and driving away from the accident.
Ladies, How to keep a man. #basics 1. Long hair 2. Stay looking hot 3. Sex anytime 4. Shut up If someone is ugly, you call them a stalker... If the person is good looking, you call them a secret admirer.
Dating: the process of hiding your crazy just long enough to get the other person to commit. Never give up on your dreams.... keep sleeping.
If I've offended you, I'm very sorry that you're a pu$$y with no sense of humor. Did you know some people celebrate things without alcohol? .... I didn't either.